Monday, December 8, 2014

Day One

"Calm down Taylor, it was just a nightmare. He cant hurt you anymore" I'm getting really tired of having to tell myself that every time I wake up screaming. At least I'm in a new place now. How long was I even asleep? Ok its 6:15 pm. So all I've done today is move out of Travis's house and fall asleep on my new couch. Well at least I'm out. I do kind of wish that things didn't turn out the way they did though.

No, don't think like that. I can't risk doing something stupid like forgiving him for years of abuse. I'll just start unpacking. Moving all those boxes in here by myself was hard work and I deserved that nap. *Yawn* Alright well I guess this is home now. A tiny apartment on the 3rd floor that's barely big enough for one. Hey at least the rent is cheap. I'm completely broke since Travis drained my bank account after I left. It was so worth it though. I had to get out of there. I couldn't let him beat me again. But even with my new found freedom, I'm not sure how long I'll be able to keep this place since I had to quit my job so he couldn't find me there.

Because seriously though... money. That stuffs kinda important and I have... none.

I mean I've been a dancer my entire life and that's the only thing I've ever been good at. I can't believe I let that idiot ruined that for me too. Man I hate that guy. The studio used to be a place where I could run to and be happy and free, especially when things got bad with him at home. But then he started getting really possessive and started showing up at the studio because he wanted to be "nice" and "surprise me." I thought it was cute at first but I figured out he rally just wanted to check up on me and show everyone I work with that I "belonged" to him."

God my parents were so right about him. Hell, everyone was right about him. But my dumbass was like "Ooohh noooo, he'd never hit me or anybody. He's soooo nice." or "You don't know him like I do..." Blah blah bullshit. This was the most cli-freakin-che thing ever. I can't believe I put up with that abusive douche for 3 years. I defied ever rule my parents ever had to be with him because I was "in love."

Look how far love got me. I'm 21, never went to college, no job, no skills, probably gonna lose this sad excuse for an apartment, and I'm living in a town that I never  of based off of the sole reason that I'd never heard of it. Who does that? An idiot that's who. Who's an idiot? That'd be me.

Ugh I've got to get my mind off of him. I  should go be productive and unpack now. *lights shut off* ...Ok, I know I can't be behind on my electric bills yet..I think the power's out in the whole building. Wait, shit, no th whole town. Alright well since staying in here is both pointless and I'm probably gonna end up crying if I let my mind drift, I guess I could go explore. If I could see anything... Ok seriously though where is my door? I have one somewhere.

Aannnd I'm falling. "HOLY BALLS THAT HURT!" Dammit I think I'm bleeding. Nope, no blood, but a lovely bruise will be forming right next to my scar. Ohh the memories. That bad boy is from when Travis shoved me and I fell on the corner of our table. I fucking hate that guy. This will be forever remind me why I had to get away. I gotta stop thinking about him but its hard with a 4 inch scar on your rib cage to remind you. Back to trying to find my door though...

 "Taylor you've fallen over the same box twice you dumb slut. Are you just now realizing that you have an iPhone with a flashlight on it?" Alrightey, there's the door, there's my coat, lets go see what hell hole I've moved into.

Wow. So the weather is gross. I can swim in this air the fog is so thick. Well I went about two feet out of the building... now I know where the speed limit sign is. Awesome. That counts as going somewhere and I think that's enough exploring for the day. It's cold as Hell and I'm more of a warm weather type. Back to sleep for me.

1 comment:

  1. Hey! I was just checking if you remember who is supposed to initiate.