Blog 3: Apt 316

Oh goodie my phones ringing. Oh no. It's Travis. What the hell could he possibly want? Shit did he find me? Crap what if he found me? What if he's outside right now?

Ok he's not outside because I would see him outside because I'm standing outside. Shit what if he's inside? I'm gonna answer it. Wait no. Don't do that that's what he wants. He wants a way back in. Not again. I'm gonna be strong and not give in. Dammit I hit Accept Call. HANG UP! Did he talk? That was rude should I call him back cause I think I heard him say something. No. Stop. Forget it. Move on. Breathe.

And I'm good. Well as good as I can be in three feet of snow. Who's idea was that anyway? Ok so it's two right now. I can get a drink at Joe's, be home by 3, and then leave for City at 3:45.

I like Joe's, I don't know why I never bothered to come here before. Probably because I’ve never really liked bars. But they’re pretty chill during the day so this may be my new thing.

Gotta scope out a place to sit. The girl working at the bar looks pleasant enough. I'm bad at talking to people though. I keep saying I'm gonna make friends. Travis was my friend... Don't think about him though. I need a real friend. Ok maybe I'm putting way too much thought into making friends with this girl I don't know. I'm just gonna sit here and chill and maybe smile at her. Smiling never hurts. No don't smile like that that's weird. Better. More natural.

God I'm a mess. "But you're my mess" Yep that's Travis's stupid voice in my head. I used to think it was cute when he said that. I really need to stop thinking about him. I'm going home.  Yeah now is good it's almost three and if I wanna make the 4 o'clock class then I need to head home now so I can actually have a chance of relaxing before I leave.

...

It smells hella suspicious. It's getting stronger. Oh come on there was a police search this morning. Ok wow it's worse in the hallway. I literally can't see in the hallway there's so much smoke. Should I hold my breath? Should I call the police back? Is this illegal? Do I care? Fuck it. It'd be nice to have friends to enjoy this with though. Hehehe I'm gonna go back inside now.

Screw it. I'm just gonna watch Netflix and eat pretzels. Yeah pretzels. God I want some pretzels. I have chips. Same thing. I also have cookies which are not the same thing but still it's the same thing.

I really should get some friends. I deserve friends. I'm a delightful person to be around. I definitely feel like I could get a friend. Woah I just spent like two hours eating and watching Friends. Haha I was watching Friends and now I want some friends. You make friends at speed dating right? Because that's where I'm headed. Wait I should make myself attractive first right? I think I should do that.

Ok hair is in a bun because I'm too lazy to try and it looks Tumblr-y so we're going with it. A little cleavage never hurt anybody but it's cold so maybe a sweater would be nice. Yep. And pants. I'm wearing some. And these Uggs make me look basic but I don't care because comfort.

Aaannd Iii'm off too see the Wizard. Or just whoever I meet. Am I still high? Because I can't focus, not that I was ever good at that but still. Whatever.

Crap is that Brian? Crap is that the guy from my dance class who I almost hit on but never did. Decisions must be made now. Who am I going home with? Wait why do I need to go home with somebody? Because I’m lonely. Shut up.  I should probably be realistic. I've got a better chance with the stupid guy from my dance class. But Brian though.

Well I’ve been ignoring every guy in here just waiting for a chance to talk to Brian. The guy from dance class is a few chairs down but from what I’ve seen none of the girls are really into him that much. Such a shame. But I move to Brian next and I have to have my game face on. I’m still feeling blazed as hell and I’m paranoid that Brian will notice. Does it matter though? I’ starting to lose interest in this whole socialization thing but Brian is just so pretty. *Ding* Well I guess it’s my turn.

Smile at him. No stop giggling. Ok talk.

“Hi there. I’m Taylor” Ok not too bad. People generally talk like that.

Hi Taylor, I’m Brian” Oh Sweet Lord he’s perfect. That smile. His hair. He’s more beautiful up close.

Shit. He knows. I can feel him looking at me. He’s a doctor for Christ’s sake he totally knows. I gotta get out of here.

Stop freaking out. Calm down. “Look Brian you’re really hot and it was nice to meet you but I have to leave now.” Idiot.

“Um, well ok then.” He hates me. He thinks I’m a rude pot head. Dammit.

Day 2

The time is 2:30 ad I am officially done unpacking. Yeah, its kinda sad. I moved in like a month ago and it took me this long to get my tiny ass apartment looking suitable for intelligent human life. Well, better late than never I guess. I could catch the 3 o'clock dance class at the community college if I hurry. But do I wanna hurry? Do I feel like sweating today? Stupid questions but I gotta do something to get myself out of this apartment building or I'm gonna lose it. I've lived in this town for like a month and I haven't made a single friend. Well that's not completely true if you count the lady that teaches the dance classes at City. She says hi to me and tells me I'm doing a good job in the classes so I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Alright Carpe Diem TayTay Carpe the freaking Diem. I’m gonna go to dance class. I’m gonna have some fun. I’m going to have a social life. I want to be normal eventually. I’m getting in the car. I can do this. Gonna do the thing.

……

Yooo that kid’s hot. Like damn. Like really. Like wow. But he sucks and he’s kinda stupid. How do you not know your left from your right? But I forgive him because I like his face.

It’s obviously my duty to teach him and give him extra practice time. I’m doing a service really. He needs help and I’m helping him. Gonna go talk to him. Yep, gonna do it, I’m doing it. Dammit the teacher lady wants me. I should really learn her name but whatever. Wait, I wasn't listening what did she say?

“I’m sorry what did you say?” Crap now she thinks I’m stupid.

“I said great job today Taylor.” Yep, that’s our whole friendship right there. “But before you go I wanted to talk to you about a job here.” What?

“What?” Look excited you idiot. Smile “I mean, what? Like you want me to teach another hip hop class?”

“Well, no. We already have hip hop instructors for all levels, but I overheard you talking about doing ballroom and I was hoping you could teach an advanced salsa class on Tuesday nights?” Uhh hell yeah I wanna teach an advance salsa class on Tuesday nights

“Yes, yes that’d be great. Thank you so much! Do I need to audition or something? Like bring in a partner and prove to you that I can do it?” Shit, that means I have to meet somebody,  convince them to be my partner, and create a routine and a bunch of other stressful crap I really don't wanna do.

“No, I trust you.” Why? “Honestly, the last instructor quit and I needed someone ASAP. Dont be offended? You really are a great dancer.” I’m not offended by money. And I needed some cause I just paid my rent and bills and I have exactly $17.62 in my bank account. Say yes dumbass. Oh and how much am I making?

“I’m not offended at all. I’m just glad to have a job. I’ll see you tuesday then?” Ok now leave before she changes her mind. “Bye!”

I have a job! Holy shit ouch! Good job Taylor you just ran knocked down a woman.

Dammit “I’m so sorry miss I was running and not paying attention and you probably hate me.”

She doesn’t look that mad, just preoccupied. Shit she’s about to talk stop staring! “It’s fine really. But I’ve got to go.”

And she went. Eventually I’m going to remember how to behave like a normal person.